When things erupt with one of my kids, I have in the past allowed myself to get quite swallowed up in the story, in the drama of the moment. I feel guilty, because some how had I been a better parent I would not be experiencing this; I feel angry, because can't she see how much I do for her; I feel treated unfairly because geez, I've really been there for you and this is all I get ..... And on and on.
I could change that story in a heartbeat couldn't I? I could say to myself, wow we have a really good relationship now. From time to time there is a bit of conflict but generally things have really blossomed for us. Given our tough family story that is indeed quite an accomplishment. I could feel proud and grateful. I can also feel very grateful that our relationship can tolerate that sort of tension from time to time and I don't have to live in fear of a cut off, because that wont ever happen between us again.
If I thought all that rather than the previous bunch of stuff, well I would feel much better wouldn't I? I would see our relationship from a more global stance rather than a myopic one.
Alanna's great example was about letting a friend move in with her. Seems that relationship didn't work out and she was hurt and taken somewhat advantage of. Rather than sit with that story she changed it to "I extended a helping hand to someone who wasn't ready to accept it" and thus she empowered herself, inviting Sukha rather than suffering into her life. What a wise young woman that Alanna is. As a matter of fact there was somewhat of a collective "you go girl" from the class.
We all have the power to craft the stories in our head that are empowering, esteem building. Because truth be told, all the worrying we do really is just stories in our head.
What kind of a story will you create for yourself today to invite some Sukha into your life? Which old story (we all have them!) will you opt to change today?
No comments:
Post a Comment